Uncle Gretchen

"Not What You Expect"
Eclectic, Alabama

I’d driven past the place about a half dozen times and was starting to get a little jagged off. Then I noticed the sign, half hidden by kudzu and a wall of neglected plantings. Uncle Gretchen, the sign read, and as I pulled into the lane I wondered what I may have gotten myself into.

“See ‘ya found us” said one of the largest men I had ever laid eyes on. 

“Ummm, yeah”, I replied. “Would you be Uncle Gretchen?” 
“Well”, he chuckled, “Not Really.”
“Is he, ah, around” I wondered?
“Is not and never will be” was his reply. “You see Uncle Gretchen is a mistake. Directly from the mouth of an innocent babe.”

He proceeded to explain that he had a brother by the name of Steven, who was married to a fetching lass named Gretchen. “My kids love their aunt and uncle and get excited every time they visit. So, one day when she heard they were coming my daughter, Jessie, in all her joy, screamed, “ Hurray, Aunt Steve and Uncle Gretchen are coming for a visit.” “Uncle Gretchen” I asked. Well, her eyes got real big and she exploded into laughter. And so did I. It was one of those magical moments that you look back on…just as I am right now.


You decide that’s too funny to walk away from. So you don’t. You walk towards the light.

For a split second, you try and resist the Uncle Gretchen’s in this short life and act like an adult. And then you find yourself saying, to hell with that…go for it. So, I went for it” 


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